NINE EASY STEPS to having MEANINGLESS SEX

1) Keep your shirt and socks on, never give him too much.

2) Do not kiss.

• It's time consuming.


• It takes away from the guy's stroke and if he's already not doing so well he definitely does not need to be distracted.


• It's extremely intimate and encourages attachment. Oh no, that's no good.

3) Do not make eye contact.

• It establishes a sort of intrapersonal relationship.


• The only thing you need to establish is an orgasm.

4) NEVER say his name.

• Makes him feel he's in control and that he's "the man." You don't need that.

5) Make him give you cunnilingus (sounds like an STD but it isn't), or oral sex. If he hasn't performed it before get him used to the idea. Soon you will break him.

6) When it's all done, do NOT cuddle.

• Once again, this is grounds for an intrapersonal relationship which isn't needed.

7) Never take more than 10mins to get dressed.

8) Go home and sleep in your own bed.

9) When you guys depart, do not reach for a hug unless he initiates. Otherwise, a simple "talk to you later" will suffice.

-This is mainly for the girls seeing as to where guys are pretty adept in this area.